Spring Break?

Spring Break is an odd thing when you work and go to school. In other words it’s a fake break. Whatever happiness you derive from the realization that you don’t have class is quickly dampened by a realization that you are still required to show up somewhere.

I was completely looking forward to my free Wednesday so that I could finish some research I’ve been doing for the World Bank on the political, historical, and institutional context of decentralization in Nicaragua. I have spent much of my day procrastinating all the good things however. First, I slept in. Second, I didn’t go for a walk in the park like I’d promised myself I would last night. (This was the major reason I didn’t shower before I slept as I was anticipating major sweat from this walk.) Third, I did everything in my power to reduce my unread gmail emails. [It was up to 20: unread emails from Neibaur's brother who's on his mission, unread articles I'd emailed to myself, catalog #s from books I hadn't yet borrowed, birthday reminders I hadn't yet addressed. Anyway, I read or did something with most of them and I am left with four unread emails, which means once I borrow those two books, call my aunt next Monday, and record the vitals on upcoming commencement exercises (forthcoming emails notwithstanding), I will be down to zero.] Fourth, I read others’ blogs. Fifth, I made two moves on Scrabulous. Sixth, I continued my insanely long reply email to Heather Jones that still isn’t thorough enough and as of yet is not ready to be sent. Seventh, I am writing this entry. Is there no end in sight??? Sigh.

Worst movie of all time

Leila and I watched the worst movie of all time the other night.  The scenes were dark, the story was hard to stomach, and the ending left me with a lot of unanswered questions.  My only consolation is that we didn’t actually pay money to see it, but borrowed it from the library.

I’m talking, of course, about the movie “Batman and Robin” – you know, the one with Dr. Freeze, Poison Ivy, Batgirl, and Robin.  This movie was worse than Fantastic Four (which I actually did pay money to see – on my birthday no less – an event which has reached the level of being the only thing that I’ve lived to regret.  What kind of birthday present to myself was that?!  I think that I was actually punishing myself for turning 26), a stunning feat.

Yes, who can forget such timeless moments of literary eloquence as, “Everybody chill!” (Dr. Freeze yelling as he sprays his freezing juices on the surprised public), “Don’t give me the cold shoulder” (a woman says to Dr. Freeze), and “We’ll be like Adam and Evil” (Dr. Freeze says to Poison Ivy after they decide to kill the whole population of the world except for themselves).  I think this movie is what won California for the Governator.  His acting was so bad that at least Californians knew they’d be able to tell when he’s telling the truth and when he’s lying (and we all know that lying is just a derogatory term for acting).

I know what you’re thinking, why didn’t I just turn the movie off and read a book?  Leila was smart and was actually doing stuff on her computer while watching the movie, so I think that she was able to preserve her brain cells.  I, on the other hand, couldn’t tear myself away from the screen.  I think I was in a constant state of shock.  There is a scene in Friends where Chandler asks Monica to marry him because he doesn’t know what to do to make Monica happy.  He bursts into the room in which Monica, along with everyone else, is sitting gets down on one knee and pops the question.  There is awkwardness on the faces of the friends, and Rachel says, “I can’t stop watching.”  That’s how it was for me (when I saw Fantastic Four I sat through the whole thing because I had paid to see it and I was going to get my money’s worth – which I still didn’t).

In conclusion, I offer my condolences to all who paid money to see that movie.   Hopefully as the years have passed, the pain has been pushed to the back of your mind and you’ve been able to move on.  I’m praying that I can too.

~N

UN Job Perk

Today was an interesting day at work. Ralph (the awesome security person at the delegate’s entrance who last year gave Heather Jones the opportunity to meet with Desmond Tutu one-on-one [Heather has named her son after the Archbishop]) got Chino, a long-time UN staff member, to fetch me from the office. When I heard the urgency in his voice, I smelled celebrity in the air. I approached Ralph who then informed me that Reese Witherspoon would arrive any minute. So there we three stood, trying to act casual. I picked up the day’s publication and pretended to read while standing next to Ralph and Chino. Reese walked in with her entourage looking petite though in stilettos. This was much more low-profile (thank goodness) than when George Clooney arrived at the Secretariat’s entrance last month: all the interns were elbowing me out of the way.

About four hours later, with some effort, cunning and serendipity (two moments of rejection notwithstanding) I managed to seat myself at stage left of the ECOSOC chamber during the highlight of the Global Summit for a Better Tomorrow. How I got in is a great story and only available to those who call.

To my great surprise, Suze Orman was there. I approached her as she was milling about before the event began and asked her what book she recommend that I read. She passionately suggested one of her own. I was at first taken aback by such self-assurance. Upon reflection however I realized that she loves what she has to share with the world so much and so deeply believes in its ability to change the lives of others, that she couldn’t help but promote it. That was a great lesson for me…I started fantasizing about what part of myself I have to so urgently share with the world…what topic? what book? what speech? Suze’s speech (intro starts at 1:01:15) was deeply inspiring. Reese’s was okay (at 32:13).

I left a bit early given that it was during my lunch hour, but I didn’t leave without audaciously grabbing a gift bag with the UNIFEM/Avon/Reese bracelet and other complimentary goodies. I then did some more sleuthing to find out what time Reese was leaving. At the appropriate time I parked myself, again, by the delegate’s entrance. As Reese was leaving I nervously but casually asked her what book she has found inspiring and would recommend. She gave what I thought was a guarded and manufactured response but a response nonetheless. In any case, I’ve put both her and Suze’s recommendations on my nypl queue. Not a bad day’s work.

CH = Carolina Herrera and Don’t You Forget It

Thanks to the best credit card in the world, the Gold American Express (no hateration please), I (and five friends) were invited to the opening of a Carolina Herrera CH store on some uppity part of Long Island. The major draw was that each guest would receive a $150 gift card towards anything that caught our fancy. What we weren’t told was that nothing fashion-worthy cost less than $300. We got there bright and shiny and on time, one of the first there. It smelled really nice and fancy and felt, as you might imagine, fake.

Every single item in the entire store had some form of a totally obvious CH logo on it. EVERY SINGLE ITEM (I wish I were kidding–navigate the CH website catalog and see for yourself). In the words of Ali G, “I think it well annoyin’ that” I would spend so much money on an item just to give its profiteer free advertising by wearing the product. I find myself inevitably and subliminally submitting to brands but logos on outerwear are well annoyin’. Needless to say, everything we liked was too expensive for young women (and students!) currently in middle class, but we did manage to have a lot of fun nonetheless: First, Lisa asked the highest ranking Carolina Herrera person there, Mrs. Herrera’s PR person, to give us our own personal tour of the entire store. Second, I got the catering gentleman-in-waiting to find us some Pellegrino since we chose not to partake in the champagne and wine feast. Third, we devoured their chocolate-covered strawberries and mini-desserts. Fourth, we got dressed from head to toe in CH gear, had them take pictures of us, then expressed how we didn’t like the clothing because, “the ruffles were too much,” or “my torso is too short for this shirt,” or “the color isn’t right,” as the staff were swooning over how great we all looked.

Lastly, finding ourselves the only people in the store with a crew of a dozen CH staff at the end of the night (Lisa’s initial request had something to do with this unfortunate situation), we felt self-conscious and made bee-lines for the cheapest things we could find: $70 bracelets, $80 candles, and $30 socks. We walked out of there having altogether bought two bracelets and six candles, spending roughly 10 extra dollars each for CH gear that were collectively valued by Mrs. Herrera at over $600. Score! I think we had come down with serious cases of stick-it-to-the-man-itis.